Through the seasons of my life

Today I’m feeling grateful and contented with all that I have. I can’t stop noticing what a beautiful day today is. Things seem small today. What is big is the gratefulness I felt in my heart today. The earth can move, the moon can fall, the oceans can rise, everyone can faint… I don’t care!

Flashing back on my last birthday… I started off that day in dilemma, uncertain about my future, indecisive of how I should choose. On that day, I have to make an important choice, a choice which will change my life significantly if not totally.

As the day came to an end, I still can’t decide. I drove home crying like I have never cried in a thousand years. Tears kept on flowing down no matter how I tried to hold back. I was frustrated at myself, frustrated of my indecisive way, frustrated at how weak I have become. Yeah, I do cry but only when watching movies. I don’t simply cry. That day, no matter how reluctant I am, I have to admit that I am not as strong as I always thought I am.

As I parked my car, tears in my eyes were starting to slow down. I can’t go up to my house looking the way I was. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 15 minutes later, I dried my eyes and make my way up to my house. Reaching my house, acting as if nothing happens, I went for a hot shower. I do love it just standing there feeling the hot shower on your face. As the water washed away my tears, it washed away my worries and fear. I have reached a decision.

In the midst of it all, I’m grateful and touched by the concerns showed upon me. I have millions of messages and phone calls by friends showing their concerns, telling me that I was not alone. I realize the whole incident could be a blessing in disguise showing me how blessed I am to have such great and wonderful friends. The day ended with a smile on my face, a contented feeling in my heart that no matter what happens, I will have friends that walk with me through the seasons of my life. What a great birthday I had this year!

Today as I write the above, my focus is on how grateful and contented I am with all that I have. This year, on my birthday, I know for sure that I have all that I can ask for. If ever I were to feel that the world owes me everything, I hope that the message above will open my eyes once again and show me the real meaning of life.